Mystery

No answer, no teacher, no paradigm...

Three more things I've realised frighten me:

1. Trying to simplify spiritual matters (usually by agreeing with someone else).

2. Believing there is any authority outside of myself, any tradition, that knows what is true or how I should live more than my own intuition knows.

3. Believing there is any kind of 'answer', either to my anxiety problem, or more generally. Every time I think, 'Alchemy's the answer', 'Buddhism's the answer', even 'There is no answer' (when I know deep down I am using that AS an answer), anxiety follows.

I've read a little bit about paradigm shifts: how we view the world through a certain frame, and when we learn, we either need to stretch that frame to allow the new information in, or, if the learning is radical, revolutionary, we need to find a new frame. I've read that one of the primary ways we obtain information or learning from beyond our current paradigm is through meditation. In my mind's eye, I've always pictured these paradigms as white squares, and the realm beyond them, where revolutionary learning comes from, as black, open space. Recently I've been wondering whether in a spiritual sense, an old paradigm was displaced, and I never really replaced it with another. I feel as though I am living in that black, open space.

And would that be such a bad thing? Artists and writers need to be so open. They need to create from a space where they can describe 'whatever arises' rather than prescribe based on their own paradigms. And I believe the best way to express spiritual 'truths' (whatever that means) for me now, when I feel I'm floating in space, is through art (in my case, fiction writing).

So, no answer, no teacher, no paradigm... Only openness, intuition and mystery...

'Space collision 1', downloaded 12th January, 2010, from:
http://science.howstuffworks.com/space-collision.htm.