I think I've been told that 'Be not afraid' is the most repeated phrase in the Bible just as many times as it is repeated... And for each time I'm told this, I'm also reminded that this means that God, speaking through the Bible, is telling me not to be afraid of Her / Him.
Well, maybe. But doesn't the Bible also say that 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom'? I draw quite a different lesson from the repetition of the phrase 'Be not afraid': it tells me that feeling fear in the presence of God is a common experience (Jung observed of God that He / She is both 'good' and 'bad', and can require us to do 'bad' things in order to fulfill God's will; he felt that God truly was fearsome...). This in turn puts me in mind of the mystics, who found (and find) being in God's presence an intensely emotional experience.
These 'lessons' don't mean that I necessarily see my own fear of God as a resoundingly positive thing. I've noticed that this fear can be triggered by:
Trying to believe something I know intuitively to be untrue.
Someone in religious authority telling me something I feel to be untrue.
Contradicting someone in religious authority: this includes believing I could combine two forms of faith in a manner that this authority may find heretical: eg. wanting to be a Christian and a Zen Buddhist. It doesn't help me to know that there are 'alternative authorities' who would see wisdom in this kind of interfaith activity.
In prayer or meditation, trying to create or hold on to a special kind of feeling, eg. calm or peace.
When I fear I don't have 'enough' faith (although I know rationally that doubt is part of faith, the 'grit that forms the pearl') and therefore that I'll go to Hell.
So who are these 'authorities' I keep referring to, seeing as people in spiritual leadership can be relied upon to disagree? I suspect they are the leaders whose every word I hung upon in my teenage years and in young adulthood: the spokespersons for the charismatic and evangelical movements. Also, the Bible as 'literally' interpreted serves as one of these oppressive authorities.*
If only knowing what made me fearful were the magical key to a fear-free faith, and an untroubled relationship with God. Maybe I simply have to follow the ideas that relieve the fear and provide comfort. Just as Jung's concept of the shadow relieved a little of the fear around the subject of morality, Jung's complex, amoral conception of God comforts me now. It fits with the notion that we are created in God's image. And my intuition tells me it feels right. However, it means audaciously contradicting those authoritative voices from my past.
*I don't believe there is such thing as a literal interpretation of the Bible. As a young person who came to the Bible long before I'd been exposed to any systematic way of reading it, I certainly didn't naturally arrive at evangelical doctrine... The Bible seemed a heterogeneous, confusing, contradictory tangle of odd stories and cryptic sayings and some passages which were just downright funny!
[untitled photo of Jung], downloaded 6th January, 2010, from:
http://www.jungmich.org/.
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