Little things...

When I saw Margaret last week we were talking about the feeling I sometimes have that nothing means anything anymore.

She asked me for an example of a small, everyday thing that had happened to me that seemed meaningless.  I couldn't think of a small, everyday event; all I could think of were big, blanket things: work, study, etc.  I think I've been straying again into my tendency towards monomania when it comes to things spiritual, debasing them by being too offhand about them, rather than letting things be slow, organic and gradual.  Margaret seemed to be saying that the meaning in life is to be found in the little things, rather than in grand philosophies.  So I think I'm going to try to be slower and more respectful about exploring Advaita Vedanta, and also try to change the way I write my blog slightly.  At the moment my blog is so full of 'big' things, and big things only, that it makes them small.  What should be rare, special, more private, becomes a kind of common currency.

In the end, Margaret said that what I've been looking for is shape and connection, and that these can be found in 'smaller' things, such as my desire to teach, and the possibility of doing an education qualification.  She observed that this gives shape to who I am.  What I value about teaching is the connection with students that it lends.  So perhaps in future blog posts I can write about this and other things which give a sense of shape and connection.

Here are some initial ideas:

Going to the local cafe and writing with PB.
Catching up with my best friend and sister, having a coffee and yakking.
My sister seeking my advice and respecting my opinion.
Footy!  and talking to my Mum about footy.
Work.
Going to my first professional development workshop since I qualified as a librarian this week.
Spending time with my grandmother.
It being 110% okay to be myself when I'm with PB.  The quality of our relationship.
The possibility of doing a Masters of Education.
Going to visit my grandfather's plaque at the cemetery with my grandmother today, and the beauty of the Eltham cemetery: the native trees and the waterfall.