First Thoughts

Was at the local cafe with PB today. We were talking about the persistent anxiety that seems to permeate every stage of the creative process. I think it relates to Natalie Goldberg's discussion of 'First Thoughts' and the Unconscious, especially in writing first drafts. (I'm writing the first draft of a novella called 'Broomstick' at the moment). Natalie Goldberg compares the process to having a monster which lives in your Unconscious mind and throws ideas and images (First Thoughts) up into the Conscious mind, up on to the page. First Thoughts, or first draft writing generally, can be messy, but more inspired and fresh than what arises when you are editing and perfecting and your inner critic or censor is engaged. You need the fresh, inspired stuff first, and then you refine it by editing.

Well, I don't have a problem with writing being messy (it's fun!) but I believe the anxiety arises when I'm afraid that no (or not enough) fresh and inspired stuff will come up at all. Because it comes from the Unconscious, it is a complete unknown, utterly unpredictable.


I suppose there is a lesson for me in learning to embrace this unpredictability. But I won't try to think about what that lesson is, how it applies to the rest of life; I'm just going to do the writing and let the lesson filter through the rest of me. Another example of fiction-writing being an embodiment, a 'living of the question,' as opposed to trying to think my way to a premature conclusion...




['Freud - exploring the unconscious mind,' downloaded 16th May 2010, from:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/onefromrome/228705707/].

[Photo of Natalie Goldberg], downloaded 16th May, 2010, from:
http://mamatrue.com/2009/06/.